No Worries Just Stories

As promised, I will further expound upon my recent adventures to Shimla. As any avid readers of this blog would recall, after snake-charming on my list of activities which highlighted the trip was socializing. Anyone who knows me relatively well would know that I am not an extremely social person - I would say that I don't naturally seek out social situations, although sometimes I kick myself in the butt and make myself interact anyway. However, when one is crammed into a train compartment with who knows how many other people, some amount of socializing must necessarily happen. While I could bore you with all the details of every conversation I had on the trip (actually, that's a lie, I couldn't do that since I don't remember), I will instead use this space to relate some occurrences which I find interesting and involve people (hence the social part).

The first incident which I would like to relate is the following: I was sitting on my bench, minding my own business, thinking that I could probably stand to relieve myself since I had been drinking a decent amount of water. While I was gathering the energy to stand, I noticed that some lady in a sari was standing by our compartment (I didn't think much of it since it is quite common for beggars, hawkers, and everyone else to walk through the train). However, when I looked up at her, I thought there was something a little strange about her features. Then, I heard "her" speak. I immediately realized that this was no lady at all. I also recalled that a few seconds before Dr. Christo had made the statement, "Uh oh, here comes trouble."

At this point I had finally summoned the power of my legs to lift myself off the bench and I started towards the bathroom. As I rounded the corner of the compartment, I saw that there was another "lady" just around the corner. As I approached, s/he put h/er/is arm in my way and said, "Hi, how are you?"

I mumbled something about being good, and the thing must have recognized the wild eyes of a man who has a full bladder because it let me pass without any further harassment. I learned shortly thereafter that I had gotten off easy. The Indians informed me that sometimes on the train in India, cross-dressing homosexual/eunuch people will walk from car to car pestering any male passengers they come upon until said passengers pay them to go away. While I had escaped just in time to avoid this persecution, there were others in our group who were not as fortunate. Some of the teenagers ended up giving them 10 rupees to go away because the things were pinching their cheeks and just generally being a nuisance.

There was one other time that some eunuchs visited us on the train. We had some idea they were coming because we saw some guys literally run past and we looked down the aisle to see what was up. That time Mrs. Christo made sure that they knew that we were not to be messed with and they left us alone. Altogether, I must say it was quite an enlightening experience, although definitely not desirable.

The other major story that should be addressed in the socializing portion of my account would be the "Waste of the Paste." The train of events started on the way to Shimla and climaxed (for me) on the return journey. On the train on the way to Shimla, the guys thought it would be amusing to put toothpaste on any who fell asleep. Of course, being the reputable person that I am, I did not become involved and did not think much of it (I actually command some small amount of respect around these parts). On the return journey (note that I discovered this after the following events took place), Gerald Christo (who happens to look more like a Filipino than an Indian) and another, unconfirmed person (Elwin Daniel) decided to go on a pasting expedition. Elwin executed the dirty deeds and Gerald photographed.

In the morning, one of the girls who had been pasted decided that it was time for vengeance. To find out who she should get vengeance upon, she asked a nearby traveler describe the parties responsible for the pasting. He described the perpetrators as a tall, dark fellow (Elwin) and a foreigner wearing some sort of hat (Gerald - recall that he looks Filipino despite his Indianness). Unfortunately for me, I fit the latter description perfectly. I was innocently sleeping in my bunk when, bright and early in the morning, I was startled awake by a cold substance dropping onto my cheek. I quickly swiped my hand across my face and caught a glimpse of a body moving quickly away down the aisle. In my sleepy state, it took me probably one to two minutes to figure out what in the world the white substance on my hand was and, furthermore, what in the world had just happened (smelling the paste helped substantially). To satisfy the curiosity of the onlookers (there were some people staring) I notified them it was toothpaste and headed to the bathroom to wash it off.

I am proud to say that I took the stance of vengeance being the Lord's and did not retaliate. In fact, thanks to Gerald, I even got an apology from the guilty party. However, it did take quite a few discussions about "this poor missionary" coming to help them and all they did to repay him was all this pasting. Despite my foregoing vengeance, I believe that the guilty party did get her just desserts the next night (I think Elwin had a large part to play yet again - thanks Elwin for being the Lord's hand of justice :P ).